Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement: … Love of My Life

Truth about basic facts of life is universal.  Similarly, the bond between God, individual, family and social lives is as universal as it is interdependent and inescapable.  Consequently, it would seem that from a purely personal and practical standpoint, most of our lives will revolve around love and money.  When it comes to love, words of Pope Benedict seem to be rich in wisdom and value:  Address of His Holiness Benedict the XVI

[The family, founded on marriage, is the "patrimony of humanity", a fundamental social institution; it is the vital cell and pillar of society and this concerns believers and non-believers alike. It is a reality that all States must hold in the highest regard because, as John Paul II liked to repeat, "the future of humanity passes by way of the family" (Familiaris Consortio, n. 86).]

Unfortunately, because of private and public roadblocks within our society, most individual and family relationships have been in Crisis for years.  When civil laws are in conflict with natural or God’s laws, God’s laws should prevail—tragically, that hasn’t been the case for almost 40 years.  Because introduction of No-fault divorce laws eliminated the main source of individual and family protection, direct and indirect damages have been inflicted upon every member of our society.  The gravest suffering was inflicted upon violated spouses and children:

Excerpts from Familiaris Consortio:

[d) Separated or Divorced Persons Who Have Not Remarried

83. Various reasons can unfortunately lead to the often irreparable breakdown of valid marriages. These include mutual lack of understanding and the inability to enter into interpersonal relationships. Obviously, separation must be considered as a last resort, after all other reasonable attempts at reconciliation have proved vain.

Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.

The situation is similar for people who have undergone divorce, but, being well aware that the valid marriage bond is indissoluble, refrain from becoming involved in a new union and devote themselves solely to carrying out their family duties and the responsibilities of Christian life. In such cases their example of fidelity and Christian consistency takes on particular value as a witness before the world and the Church. Here it is even more necessary for the Church to offer continual love and assistance, without there being any obstacle to admission to the sacraments.

e) Divorced Persons Who Have Remarried

84. Daily experience unfortunately shows that people who have obtained a divorce usually intend to enter into a new union, obviously not with a Catholic religious ceremony. Since this is an evil that, like the others, is affecting more and more Catholics as well, the problem must be faced with resolution and without delay. The Synod Fathers studied it expressly. The Church, which was set up to lead to salvation all people and especially the baptized, cannot abandon to their own devices those who have been previously bound by sacramental marriage and who have attempted a second marriage. The Church will therefore make untiring efforts to put at their disposal her means of salvation.

Pastors must know that, for the sake of truth, they are obliged to exercise careful discernment of situations. There is in fact a difference between those who have sincerely tried to save their first marriage and have been unjustly abandoned, and those who through their own grave fault have destroyed a canonically valid marriage. Finally, there are those who have entered into a second union for the sake of the children's upbringing, and who are sometimes subjectively certain in conscience that their previous and irreparably destroyed marriage had never been valid.]

Unfortunately, even though Catholic leaders have been attempting to diminish damages to our families, faith and society, they have been fighting a futile battle because of the unconstitutional nature of No-fault divorce laws.  Consequently, as our Crisis continues, so do Catholic Interventions—Oil on the Wounds:

[I meet you with great joy on the occasion of the International Congress on "'Oil on the wounds': A response to the ills of abortion and divorce", promoted by the John Paul II Pontifical Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in collaboration with the Knights of Columbus. I congratulate you on the topical and complex theme that has been the subject of your reflections in these days and in particular for the reference to the Good Samaritan (Lk 10: 25-37), which you chose as a key to approach the evils of abortion and divorce that bring so much suffering to the lives of individuals, families and society. Yes, the men and women of our day sometimes truly find themselves stripped and wounded on the wayside of the routes we take, often without anyone listening to their cry for help or attending to them to alleviate and heal their suffering. In the often purely ideological debate a sort of conspiracy of silence is created in their regard. Only by assuming an attitude of merciful love is it possible to approach in order to bring help and enable victims to pick themselves up and resume their journey through life.

In a cultural context marked by increasing individualism, hedonism and all too often also by a lack of solidarity and adequate social support, human freedom, as it faces life's difficulties, is prompted in its weakness to make decisions that conflict with the indissolubility of the matrimonial bond or with the respect due to human life from the moment of conception, while it is still protected in its mother's womb. Of course, divorce and abortion are decisions of a different kind, which are sometimes made in difficult and dramatic circumstances that are often traumatic and a source of deep suffering for those who make them. They also affect innocent victims: the infant just conceived and not yet born, children involved in the break-up of family ties. These decisions indelibly mark the lives of all those involved. The Church's ethical opinion with regard to divorce and procured abortion is unambivalent and known to all: these are grave sins which, to a different extent and taking into account the evaluation of subjective responsibility, harm the dignity of the human person, involve a profound injustice in human and social relations and offend God himself, Guarantor of the conjugal covenant and the Author of life. Yet the Church, after the example of her Divine Teacher, always has the people themselves before her, especially the weakest and most innocent who are victims of injustice and sin, and also those other men and women who, having perpetrated these acts, stained by sin and wounded within, are seeking peace and the chance to begin anew.

The Church's first duty is to approach these people with love and consideration, with caring and motherly attention, to proclaim the merciful closeness of God in Jesus Christ. Indeed, as the Fathers teach, it is he who is the true Good Samaritan, who has made himself close to us, who pours oil and wine on our wounds and takes us into the inn, the Church, where he has us treated, entrusting us to her ministers and personally paying in advance for our recovery. Yes, the Gospel of love and life is also always the Gospel of mercy, which is addressed to the actual person and sinner that we are, to help us up after any fall and to recover from any injury. My beloved Predecessor, the Servant of God John Paul II, the third anniversary of whose death we celebrated recently, said in inaugurating the new Shrine of Divine Mercy in Krakow: "Apart from the mercy of God there is no other source of hope for mankind" (17 August 2002). On the basis of this mercy the Church cultivates an indomitable trust in human beings and in their capacity for recovery. She knows that with the help of grace human freedom is capable of the definitive and faithful gift of self which makes possible the marriage of a man and woman as an indissoluble bond; she knows that even in the most difficult circumstances human freedom is capable of extraordinary acts of sacrifice and solidarity to welcome the life of a new human being. Thus, one can see that the "No" which the Church pronounces in her moral directives on which public opinion sometimes unilaterally focuses, is in fact a great "Yes" to the dignity of the human person, to human life and to the person's capacity to love. It is an expression of the constant trust with which, despite their frailty, people are able to respond to the loftiest vocation for which they are created: the vocation to love.]

What is the moral of our immoral or amoral Crisis?  After years of church and state “enforced-moral-schizophrenia,” escape seems almost as impossible for Church leaders and followers as it does the for rest of our society regardless of our religious orientation.  The truth can be verified by the simple fact that Pope John Paul II was well aware of our Crisis—he validated the victims as well as their suffering and urged Church leaders to offer compassion and help to all victims–one would think that had the Church given help to the victims and their perpetrators, our Crisis might be nonexistent.  Tragically, as perpetrators continue to receive preferential treatment, by default, victims continue to be silenced, degraded and manipulated through the use of their children by adulterous spouses and “civil” laws or trends.  Having to make a choice between God and one’s family or children is not a religious or civil justice.  It’s inhumanity at its worst because it reaches and violates the core of one’s soul, family and faith:  “Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.” 

Sadly, despite countless pleas from the Pope to help the victims—as the American Catholic Church continues to procrastinate—the numbers and pain of the victims continue to escalate.  By now, there are countless divorce and annulment ministries but NONE for faithful and innocent spouses and children violated by the endless cycles of divorce, annulments and remarriages.  As long as the Church remains indifferent and silent, so does our society.  “Yes, the men and women of our day sometimes truly find themselves stripped and wounded on the wayside of the routes we take, often without anyone listening to their cry for help or attending to them to alleviate and heal their suffering. In the often purely ideological debate a sort of conspiracy of silence is created in their regard. Only by assuming an attitude of merciful love is it possible to approach in order to bring help and enable victims to pick themselves up and resume their journey through life.”  Trauma behind abortion & divorce is enormous.  Tragically, due to escalation in the divorce and annulment mentality even within the Church, victims of divorce have not received ANY help or protection from church and state for over 30 years.  Help from fellow Catholics is also unavailable—most Catholics in stable two-parent homes are misinformed about the trauma of victimized families and actually escalate our society’s family Crisis by their indifference.  Consequently, relatively few Catholics are able to protect themselves, their children and their faith.  If the richness and clarity of Catholic laws cannot protect the victims, protection of non-Catholic & non-religious victims will be even more elusive unless truth about common innate needs of every individual is acknowledged and protected.  

There is no need for more studies, appeals or investigations.  There is a need for Church and State reforms to reinstate justice as well as a need to create a Reconciliation and Separation Ministry throughout America and the rest of the world.  With No-fault laws robbing parents of soul and sole custody over their children, the Catholic Church is the best source to initiate internal as well as social reforms.  Only proper authority, laws and leadership from the Church and other authoritative leaders can release current legal and social restrictions placed on Catholic priests, therapists, lawyers, scholars and laity.  The cancer on the wounded soul of our society should have been in remission decades ago—because our Crisis stems from lack of protective laws for children, further delays will be as painful and harmful as they will be dangerous for all of US … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”