Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement … Love of My Life

“To cheat one’s self out of love is the greatest deception of which there is no reparation in either time or eternity.”  To cheat others is a double-cross.

ALL OF US ARE HURT by DIVORCE from our own good, each other or for some, God … With each family being a microcosm of our society, responsibility and accountability in private homes and society are interdependent and inseparable.  As such, con-fused spouses, parents, experts, politicians or luminaries are dangerous to innate laws of life and US—years of Illegal Abuse from the Firm Law of Dr. Rogue, Dr. Pill, Dr. Jock & Mr. Hide et al speak for themselves.  

To date, what is being done to our children, singles, marriages & elders is an atrocity!  HOW long must our CHILDREN suffer before leaders protect our FAMILIES from Negligent-Comatose-Overruled Experts, Laws or Society!  NO ONE has the right to brainwash & enslave an entire society … Consequently, no religious or secular scholar or expert can deny this Appeal.  There are only two options—SUPPORT IT or BEAT IT—if anyone has better solutions, the need for ACTION is URGENT.  Unconstitutional Abuse of Justice, Freedom, Information & Empowerment violates individuals as well as a society—it must end NOW! 

No religious or secular “expert” can deny that “the foundation of marriage is not simply a private decision since it creates a specifically ecclesial and social situation for the spouses, both individually and as a couple.”  Sadly, our Crisis is obvious—as corrupt media demolishes our families from the outside, faulty divorce & custody laws exterminate our families from the inside.  Many ”experts” use our Crisis to get rich or famous—tragically, even honest leaders who have the power to initiate change TODAY are misinformed or overruled while others procrastinate!  Since our laws, leaders or spouses won’t honor or protect US & our children, WHO will?

Who’s Who in America?  Who is a money-hungry, egotistical exploiter & Who is the victim?  When it comes to authoritative truth, laws & leaders, most traditionalists have NO voice or choice!  Our children have been at risk for years because faulty laws, trends or “experts” restrict or prohibit most qualified parents from protecting & nurturing their own children.  Who is our judge, jury & executioner?  Mr. O’Reilly believes that secular progressives don’t want judgments on behaviors & urges us to “start making judgments.”  On the other hand, Ms. Oprah’s gospel is different—she is on a quest for a “world without judgment.”  Although “the results are in,” most of US are still forced to live in agony & hypocrisy instead of a democracy.  When it comes to civil or religious rights, most children, singles, parents or elders only have 2 choices: swim with the sharks OR drown in tears, denigration or loneliness.

Abuse of Power & People … When will the Media report on the abuse of power by the Media?  When will the APA end their mind-boggling blunders on contraception, abortion, homosexuality, cohabitation, adultery or other assaults on our faith & insults to our intelligence?  When will the ABA end violations of civil & religious rights or the injustice within corrupt divorce mills, DCFS & others?  When will the AMA disclose the truth about health damages from negligent spiritual traumas & perpetual emotional distress inflicted upon victimized children & parents?  When will our Political or Business Moguls stop enabling & enriching toxic bullies, spouses, social workers, lawyers, judges, doctors, therapists, police officers, scholars, celebs & other “colleagues.”  Sadly, even most religious laws or leaders cooperate with spiritual abuse, abandonment, adultery, divorces, gets, annulments or remarriages but neglect PROTECTION, JUSTICE & EMPOWERMENT for violated children or spouses! 

Since 1969 & NOW, the most vital aspect of our private lives & the foundation of our society—the family—cannot be protected.  Intellectual abuse is very much like carbon monoxide—it’s tasteless & it’s a silent killer of the soul.  Because it’s even toxic for those who guide & protect us, damages at top levels have been the most lethal—from Washington to our homes, hearts & minds.  “Let the people think they govern, and they will be governed.”  Given its magnitude, why isn’t our society’s family Crisis among major issues for all Politicians?  The answer is simple—for some, votes & power are more important than US.  For others, due to con-fusion of religious & non-religious voters, to speak unadulterated truth about our Crisis might be political suicide.  Yet, for most of us–until leaders address our society’s Crisis–truth , justice, integrity, logic & loving fruits of our labor are not in our cards.

All of us are innocent because NO ONE individual is powerful enough to destroy a powerhouse such as a natural family structure or a society.  Yet, the Decks have been Stacked—Trump must be Trumped!  Having to pay emotionally or financially for the rest of our lives for years of social negligence is illegal.  Since all of us are entitled to civil & religious rights TODAY, how much longer should we allow brutal, unjust, avoidable & illegal victimization to continue?  It’s already the 21st century!  It’s time for a REAL state of the union address & to ensure “that this nation, under God, shall have new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from earth.”  Since private individuals are being violated & ignored for years, NOW ONLY professionals or celebs have enough clout to initiate REAL CHANGE!

Oftentimes, religious leaders or professionals like to take their time—What say YOU, Christian Jewel, about all the helpless parents and their children who will be violated JUST today?  What say YOU, Mr. Expert or Ms. Celeb, about lack of protection for all religions and the inconsolable agony of all the victims—”Yesterday,” last year or decades ago.  Because ethics will often preclude self-defense, without legal, social or religious support, most are forced to move on and suffer in silence.  Some have already died without ever being exonerated.  How much longer should we wait and how many more fresh victims must be sacrificed to our two-headed monster before hearts and minds begin to open to truth and justice. 

Adulteration of our nation—our enslavement or corruption is a recycled and self-fulfilled prophecy—the truth is self-evident:  We have engineered a society to fit sinful or toxic lifestyles—as we corrupt laws on demand, we are forced to obey sincere & con-fused experts who are obligated to create & obey religious or civil laws.  As such, instead of changing faulty laws, we change people.  Those who object to the injustice are treated as hostile, jealous, angry, vengeful or intolerant imbeciles.  By default, as we ignore the pain & cries for help from victims, we allow them to be violated, intimidated, humiliated, denigrated and manipulated into submission.  Oddly, even though the helplessness and agony of the victims have always been obvious and inconsolable, “experts” treat it as a mere bellyache and force them to move on.  To date, most victims only have the right to remain silent and to bleed, beg, bend, bow, blend or blog to death.  WHY?  Individual reasons are as deep and intricate as each person.  Yet, the underlying causes stem from “experts” who claim, “There are no victims, only volunteers.”  WHO needs to get in touch with reality?  Wives, husbands and children do not volunteer to be abused, abandoned or adulterated by their “loved ones.”  50 years ago adultery was a sin and an abomination serious enough for God to warn us about it in the Ten Commandments.  Because “some experts” changed God’s laws and nature, we are being conditioned to believe that mental or physical adultery is sinless—In fact, most of us have been brainwashed to believe that adultery is love.  Consequently, most women and men are “in love” as they hurt, cheat, manipulate and seduce spouses away from their marriages, children or God.  With “experts” enabling morally ill perpetrators and ignoring mortally wounded victims, none of US should be surprised that after murder and physical abuse, betrayal or violation of our “loved ones,” is the 3rd most heinous, dangerous, enjoyable and popular crime in America.

“Hypocrisy is only dangerous when forced upon others without their knowledge or consent.”  As such, the same “vigor & rigor” that defined marriage as a union between one man & one woman must NOW be applied to remedy a graver danger—personal & social damages from faulty No-fault divorce laws & toxic media.  If the APA, ABA & AMA do not initiate truth in information & reparations through traditional talk-shows on “ABC, CBS, NBC & all major Media” because they are “unreachable,” they can be reached by private, religious or public pros & organizations through letters, articles, radio & TV—campaigns must address internal & external violations within major religions and within our society.

“We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.”  By now, the need for a resolution is Urgent.  Turning the other cheek is not the same as turning one’s back to the victim—to wait 1 hour is to add countless victims to the list.  To reverse toxic attitudes, trends & laws, there are only 3 options—Initiate Unrelenting Pressure & Public Campaigns for: 1) A Congressional Investigation, 2) Voluntary Integration of Truth in Information within ALL Public Media, or 3) A Class Action Lawsuit.  Given that our Crisis originated from lack of protection for children, NO ONE has the right to deny this Appeal because it is the ONLY way to initiate protection for one’s CHILD NOW and long-term, for ALL of US … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

 Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement: … Love of My Life

Truth about basic facts of life is universal.  Similarly, the bond between God, individual, family and social lives is as universal as it is interdependent and inescapable.  Consequently, it would seem that from a purely personal and practical standpoint, most of our lives will revolve around love and money.  When it comes to love, words of Pope Benedict seem to be rich in wisdom and value:  Address of His Holiness Benedict the XVI

[The family, founded on marriage, is the "patrimony of humanity", a fundamental social institution; it is the vital cell and pillar of society and this concerns believers and non-believers alike. It is a reality that all States must hold in the highest regard because, as John Paul II liked to repeat, "the future of humanity passes by way of the family" (Familiaris Consortio, n. 86).]

Unfortunately, because of private and public roadblocks within our society, most individual and family relationships have been in Crisis for years.  When civil laws are in conflict with natural or God’s laws, God’s laws should prevail—tragically, that hasn’t been the case for almost 40 years.  Because introduction of No-fault divorce laws eliminated the main source of individual and family protection, direct and indirect damages have been inflicted upon every member of our society.  The gravest suffering was inflicted upon violated spouses and children:

Excerpts from Familiaris Consortio:

[d) Separated or Divorced Persons Who Have Not Remarried

83. Various reasons can unfortunately lead to the often irreparable breakdown of valid marriages. These include mutual lack of understanding and the inability to enter into interpersonal relationships. Obviously, separation must be considered as a last resort, after all other reasonable attempts at reconciliation have proved vain.

Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.

The situation is similar for people who have undergone divorce, but, being well aware that the valid marriage bond is indissoluble, refrain from becoming involved in a new union and devote themselves solely to carrying out their family duties and the responsibilities of Christian life. In such cases their example of fidelity and Christian consistency takes on particular value as a witness before the world and the Church. Here it is even more necessary for the Church to offer continual love and assistance, without there being any obstacle to admission to the sacraments.

e) Divorced Persons Who Have Remarried

84. Daily experience unfortunately shows that people who have obtained a divorce usually intend to enter into a new union, obviously not with a Catholic religious ceremony. Since this is an evil that, like the others, is affecting more and more Catholics as well, the problem must be faced with resolution and without delay. The Synod Fathers studied it expressly. The Church, which was set up to lead to salvation all people and especially the baptized, cannot abandon to their own devices those who have been previously bound by sacramental marriage and who have attempted a second marriage. The Church will therefore make untiring efforts to put at their disposal her means of salvation.

Pastors must know that, for the sake of truth, they are obliged to exercise careful discernment of situations. There is in fact a difference between those who have sincerely tried to save their first marriage and have been unjustly abandoned, and those who through their own grave fault have destroyed a canonically valid marriage. Finally, there are those who have entered into a second union for the sake of the children's upbringing, and who are sometimes subjectively certain in conscience that their previous and irreparably destroyed marriage had never been valid.]

Unfortunately, even though Catholic leaders have been attempting to diminish damages to our families, faith and society, they have been fighting a futile battle because of the unconstitutional nature of No-fault divorce laws.  Consequently, as our Crisis continues, so do Catholic Interventions—Oil on the Wounds:

[I meet you with great joy on the occasion of the International Congress on "'Oil on the wounds': A response to the ills of abortion and divorce", promoted by the John Paul II Pontifical Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in collaboration with the Knights of Columbus. I congratulate you on the topical and complex theme that has been the subject of your reflections in these days and in particular for the reference to the Good Samaritan (Lk 10: 25-37), which you chose as a key to approach the evils of abortion and divorce that bring so much suffering to the lives of individuals, families and society. Yes, the men and women of our day sometimes truly find themselves stripped and wounded on the wayside of the routes we take, often without anyone listening to their cry for help or attending to them to alleviate and heal their suffering. In the often purely ideological debate a sort of conspiracy of silence is created in their regard. Only by assuming an attitude of merciful love is it possible to approach in order to bring help and enable victims to pick themselves up and resume their journey through life.

In a cultural context marked by increasing individualism, hedonism and all too often also by a lack of solidarity and adequate social support, human freedom, as it faces life's difficulties, is prompted in its weakness to make decisions that conflict with the indissolubility of the matrimonial bond or with the respect due to human life from the moment of conception, while it is still protected in its mother's womb. Of course, divorce and abortion are decisions of a different kind, which are sometimes made in difficult and dramatic circumstances that are often traumatic and a source of deep suffering for those who make them. They also affect innocent victims: the infant just conceived and not yet born, children involved in the break-up of family ties. These decisions indelibly mark the lives of all those involved. The Church's ethical opinion with regard to divorce and procured abortion is unambivalent and known to all: these are grave sins which, to a different extent and taking into account the evaluation of subjective responsibility, harm the dignity of the human person, involve a profound injustice in human and social relations and offend God himself, Guarantor of the conjugal covenant and the Author of life. Yet the Church, after the example of her Divine Teacher, always has the people themselves before her, especially the weakest and most innocent who are victims of injustice and sin, and also those other men and women who, having perpetrated these acts, stained by sin and wounded within, are seeking peace and the chance to begin anew.

The Church's first duty is to approach these people with love and consideration, with caring and motherly attention, to proclaim the merciful closeness of God in Jesus Christ. Indeed, as the Fathers teach, it is he who is the true Good Samaritan, who has made himself close to us, who pours oil and wine on our wounds and takes us into the inn, the Church, where he has us treated, entrusting us to her ministers and personally paying in advance for our recovery. Yes, the Gospel of love and life is also always the Gospel of mercy, which is addressed to the actual person and sinner that we are, to help us up after any fall and to recover from any injury. My beloved Predecessor, the Servant of God John Paul II, the third anniversary of whose death we celebrated recently, said in inaugurating the new Shrine of Divine Mercy in Krakow: "Apart from the mercy of God there is no other source of hope for mankind" (17 August 2002). On the basis of this mercy the Church cultivates an indomitable trust in human beings and in their capacity for recovery. She knows that with the help of grace human freedom is capable of the definitive and faithful gift of self which makes possible the marriage of a man and woman as an indissoluble bond; she knows that even in the most difficult circumstances human freedom is capable of extraordinary acts of sacrifice and solidarity to welcome the life of a new human being. Thus, one can see that the "No" which the Church pronounces in her moral directives on which public opinion sometimes unilaterally focuses, is in fact a great "Yes" to the dignity of the human person, to human life and to the person's capacity to love. It is an expression of the constant trust with which, despite their frailty, people are able to respond to the loftiest vocation for which they are created: the vocation to love.]

What is the moral of our immoral or amoral Crisis?  After years of church and state “enforced-moral-schizophrenia,” escape seems almost as impossible for Church leaders and followers as it does the for rest of our society regardless of our religious orientation.  The truth can be verified by the simple fact that Pope John Paul II was well aware of our Crisis—he validated the victims as well as their suffering and urged Church leaders to offer compassion and help to all victims–one would think that had the Church given help to the victims and their perpetrators, our Crisis might be nonexistent.  Tragically, as perpetrators continue to receive preferential treatment, by default, victims continue to be silenced, degraded and manipulated through the use of their children by adulterous spouses and “civil” laws or trends.  Having to make a choice between God and one’s family or children is not a religious or civil justice.  It’s inhumanity at its worst because it reaches and violates the core of one’s soul, family and faith:  “Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.” 

Sadly, despite countless pleas from the Pope to help the victims—as the American Catholic Church continues to procrastinate—the numbers and pain of the victims continue to escalate.  By now, there are countless divorce and annulment ministries but NONE for faithful and innocent spouses and children violated by the endless cycles of divorce, annulments and remarriages.  As long as the Church remains indifferent and silent, so does our society.  “Yes, the men and women of our day sometimes truly find themselves stripped and wounded on the wayside of the routes we take, often without anyone listening to their cry for help or attending to them to alleviate and heal their suffering. In the often purely ideological debate a sort of conspiracy of silence is created in their regard. Only by assuming an attitude of merciful love is it possible to approach in order to bring help and enable victims to pick themselves up and resume their journey through life.”  Trauma behind abortion & divorce is enormous.  Tragically, due to escalation in the divorce and annulment mentality even within the Church, victims of divorce have not received ANY help or protection from church and state for over 30 years.  Help from fellow Catholics is also unavailable—most Catholics in stable two-parent homes are misinformed about the trauma of victimized families and actually escalate our society’s family Crisis by their indifference.  Consequently, relatively few Catholics are able to protect themselves, their children and their faith.  If the richness and clarity of Catholic laws cannot protect the victims, protection of non-Catholic & non-religious victims will be even more elusive unless truth about common innate needs of every individual is acknowledged and protected.  

There is no need for more studies, appeals or investigations.  There is a need for Church and State reforms to reinstate justice as well as a need to create a Reconciliation and Separation Ministry throughout America and the rest of the world.  With No-fault laws robbing parents of soul and sole custody over their children, the Catholic Church is the best source to initiate internal as well as social reforms.  Only proper authority, laws and leadership from the Church and other authoritative leaders can release current legal and social restrictions placed on Catholic priests, therapists, lawyers, scholars and laity.  The cancer on the wounded soul of our society should have been in remission decades ago—because our Crisis stems from lack of protective laws for children, further delays will be as painful and harmful as they will be dangerous for all of US … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

 Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement: … Love of My Life

Pro-choice? … Except for Rare Stable Marriages, our society has only 2 options:  Family Prostitution or Family Persecution. 

Currently, Family Protection is not an option … Common sense would dictate that honorable spouses will always opt for faithfulness to their marital vows and protection of their loved ones—dysfunctional or morally ill spouses will always opt for mental or physical adultery and abortion of their family through divorce or annulment and remarriage.  Because almost every divorce has one guilty and one innocent spouse, when dysfunctional spouses abort responsible spouses, they automatically abort their marriage, children and faith.  If the opposite were true, there would be no divorce in the first place!

Needless to say, the MAIN cause of our society’s family crisis revolves around children.  Logic would dictate that morally ill spouses are not capable of love and will only fight for child custody mostly to make their family adulteration look decent and socially acceptable because child abandonment is still one of the few taboos still left in our society.  Although playing the role of a part-time parent fits into the dysfunctional parent’s deception, it is very damaging for the children, especially when adulterous or alternative partners also become automatic parents—because these tragic decisions are mandated by family courts, when responsible parents object to such violations, their pain and the agony of their children will be ignored.  Needless to say, most dysfunctional spouses will deny or lie about the truth even though the nature of all affairs calls for total emotional and financial needs to be directed on everything except the original family.  Facts speak for themselves—if the intentions of dysfunctional spouses were honest and in the best interest of their children, their families would never be at risk for divorce, annulments or remarriage.

To opt for a divorce, annulment and remarriage is to opt for a lifetime of cruel and unusual punishment for the original family as well as for all the blended families because instead of healing the dysfunctional spouse before the first divorce, current laws allow dysfunctional spouses to infect and victimize new spouses and children.  Because a faithful separation can offer protection against emotional and physical abuse, separation and reconciliation are the only healthy or pro-choices for ANY marriage at risk.  Tragically, even though religious and civil laws for separation have been on the books all along, they cannot be utilized mostly due to faulty leadership and favorable treatment of dysfunctional spouses instead of their victims. 

While most private individuals and experts will object or feel highly insulted by such generalizations, most will do so because they are already involved in the divorce mills personally or professionally.  Needless to say, victims never benefit from a divorce financially or spiritually while professionals benefit financially but not spiritually.  Unfortunately, even the best and most honest experts do not have just legal laws to work with—consequently, given the power of the dysfunctional spouses and the weakness of No-fault divorce and custody laws, holy rollers are as helpless and endangered as are all victims of our society. 

It goes without saying that private or professional differences about opinions are not the same as differences about basic and innate facts of life.  As such, cause and effect cycles of mental or physical adultery are elementary—religious, intellectual, physical, emotional and financial harm can be verified by applicable laws, facts and our own common sense or experiences.  Unfortunately, since violations, pain and objections of the victims are being silenced or ignored for almost 40 years, society is forced to rely on comatose, overruled or misinformed experts who follow faulty laws and force victims into spiritual and financial poverty.  Consequently, betrayal by our loved ones hurts us the most while betrayal by laws and experts causes the most damage.  How much longer should we wait for avoidable and illegal violations to continue?  Although law reforms were needed decades ago, even Pope John Paul’s appeal for “lawyers to boycott divorce” was ignored by secular as well as religious leaders.

Address of Pope John Paul II … 28 January 2002 (excerpts)

4. Countless men and women of all times and places have complied with this divine and natural plan, even before the Saviour’s coming and a great many others have done so after his coming, even without knowing him. Their freedom expands to the gift of God, both at the moment of their marriage and throughout their entire conjugal life. Yet the possibility always exists of rebelling against that loving plan:  then returns the “hardness of heart” that had led Moses to permit divorce but which Christ definitively overcame. To such situations as these, one has to respond with the humble courage of faith, a faith that supports and corroborates reason itself, to enable it to carry on a dialogue with all who are in search of the true good of the human person and of society. To treat indissolubility not as a natural juridical norm but as a mere ideal empties of meaning the unequivocal declaration of Jesus Christ, who absolutely refused divorce because “from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19,8).

Marriage “is” indissoluble:  this property expresses a dimension of its objective being, it is not a mere subjective fact. Consequently, the good of indissolubility is the good of marriage itself; and the lack of understanding of its indissoluble character constitutes the lack of understanding of the essence of marriage.

One cannot give in to the divorce mentality:  confidence in the natural and supernatural gifts of God to man prevents that. Pastoral activity must support and promote indissolubility. The doctrinal aspects should be transmitted, clarified and defended, but even more important are consistent actions. Whenever a couple is going through difficulties, the sympathy of Pastors, and of the other faithful must be combined with clarity and fortitude in remembering that conjugal love is the way to work out a positive solution to their crisis. Given that God has united them by means of an indissoluble bond, the husband and wife by utilizing all their human resources, together with good will, and by, above all, confiding in the assistance of divine grace, can and should emerge from their moments of crisis renewed and strengthened.

9. The essential witness to the value of indissolubility is given through the married life of the spouses, in their fidelity to the bond, through all the joys and trials of life. However the value of indissolubility cannot be held to be just the object of a private choice:  it concerns one of the cornerstones of all society. Therefore, while all the initiatives that Christians, along with other persons of good will, promote for the good of the family (for example, the celebrations of wedding anniversaries) are to be encouraged, one must avoid the risk of permissiveness on fundamental issues concerning the nature of marriage and the family (cf. Letter to Families, n. 17).

Among the initiatives should be those that aim at obtaining the public recognition of indissoluble marriage in the civil juridical order (cf. ibid., n. 17). Resolute opposition to any legal or administrative measures that introduce divorce or that equate de facto unions-including those between homosexuals- with marriage must be accompanied by a pro-active attitude, acting through juridical provisions that tend to improve the social recognition of true marriage in the framework of legal orders that unfortunately admit divorce.

Lawyers, as independent professionals, should always decline the use of their profession for an end that is contrary to justice, as is divorce. They can only cooperate in this kind of activity when, in the intention of the client, it is not directed to the break-up of the marriage, but to the securing of other legitimate effects that can only be obtained through such a judicial process in the established legal order (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 2383). In this way, with their work of assisting and reconciling persons who are going through a marital crises, lawyers truly serve the rights of the person and avoid becoming mere technicians at the service of any interest whatever.

How many lives have been ruined since No-Fault Divorce Laws were inflicted upon our society.  How many more families have been exterminated since 2002 by lack of due process and lack of action on part of all our leaders.  Given that relatively few families and spouses are left standing, a point of no return is near—Older generations and values are already being replaced by a new generation engineered to embrace self and other abuse, abortion, adultery, divorce, cohabitation, gender reassignment and all other alternatives.  Even though the older generation was silenced and overruled, at least they maintained their honor and went down fighting.  Sadly, with our new generation being raised on family and social adulteration, honor is becoming as rare as stable individuals and families.  As such, truth in information and divorce reform are not only our right but also a vital necessity … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

 Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement … Love of My Life 

A challenge to all religious and secular Eggheads:  After all, “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander?” 

The Beauty and Duty of the Roman Catholic Religion are mutually inclusive.  Similarly, all fundamental laws governing the Catholic Church and each family as the Domestic Church, are not only quite simple but also universal.  Unfortunately, because not everything is as it should be, a close examination of our society’s family Crisis is more than vital–it is also urgent.   

Since all traditional religions are in agreement on innate laws and values of life, why don’t their “experts” or leaders agree on a uniform application of such laws?  Also, if Catholics still consider the Catholic Religion as the goose that laid the golden egg, why do so many Catholics disagree or violate various laws or teachings of the Church.   Because all traditional religions or philosophies have been experiencing similar calamity, the scope of our Crisis seems as endless as its roots … from laws to leadership.

Because our Crisis is as old as it is fresh, a 1995 address by His Holiness Pope John Paul II would make a good starting point: 

3.  It is not enough, then, to appeal to the human person and the person’s dignity without first endeavoring to form an adequate anthropological vision, which, on the basis of reliable scientific findings, remains anchored in the fundamental, principles of the perennial philosophy and is illumined by the vivid light of Christian Revelation.

This is why at a previous meeting with this Tribunal I referred to “a truly complete vision of the person.” and warned against certain trends of contemporary psychology that, “going beyond their own specific competence, are carried into such territory and are introduced under the thrust of anthropological presuppositions which cannot be reconciled with Christian anthropology” (John Paul II, Address to the Tribunal of the Roman Rota, 2 [5 Feb. 1987]). These presuppositions, in fact, offer a view of nature and human existence that is “closed to values and meaning which transcend the immanent factor and which allow human beings to tend towards the love of God and of their neighbor as their final vocation (Ibid., 4).

4.  Thus it is helpful once again to call the attention of ecclesiastical tribunals to the unacceptable consequences resulting from—erroneous doctrinal approaches, which have negative repercussions on the administration of justice and, in a particular and even more serious way, on the handling of cases of marital nullity. Moreover, for many years specific canonical legislation dealing with the consultation of medical specialists and experts in psychiatric science and practice has expressly warned that “care must be taken to exclude those who do not adhere to sound [Catholic] teaching in this matter” (Pius XI, Provida Mater Ecclesia, 15 Aug. 1936, in AAS, 28 [1936], p. 343, art. 151).

Only a Christian anthropology, enriched by the contribution of indisputable scientific data, including that of modern psychology and psychiatry, can offer a complete and thus realistic vision of humans. Ignorance of the fact that they “have a wounded nature inclined to evil,” the Catechism of the Catholic Church warns,” gives rise to serious errors in the areas of education, politics, social action and morals” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 407; cf. no. 410 ff.). It would be equally misleading to forget that human beings have been gratuitously redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ and enabled, despite the influences of the world outside and within him, to do good and to, make life-long commitments.

5.  All this can only lead to an ever greater esteem for humans’ sublime nobility, their inviolable rights, the respect owed to them even when their actions and behavior become the object of judicial investigation on the part of legitimate authority in general or of ecclesial authority in particular.

Given that innate or natural needs of a Catholic child, mother or father are not much different than those of any Christian, Jew, Atheist and others, how do experts account for “professional differences” over the indissoluble nature of each family or the injustice of No-Fault Divorce Laws.  Because only ”experts or leaders” have the power to shape private laws and public trends, how do our “luminaries” plan to restore truth, justice and empowerment or begin to end social con-fusion over contraception, infertility, abortion, euthanasia, addictions to mental or physical adultery, cohabitation, divorce, remarriage, homosexuality and other dysfunctional behaviors?  Sam Beamer …  “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.” 

The following quote concerns [an excerpt of] a discussion of the ideas of the late, Pope John Paul II, as discussed by Mary Shivanandan in Crossing the Threshold of Love: A New Vision of Marriage in the Light of John Paul II’s Anthropology, The Catholic University Of America Press: Washington, D.C.; 1999, pp. 154-157.

In it, Shivanandan focuses in on the ever-important and long-forgotten simple-and-profound truth of the family: In it human individuals are affirmed simply because they “ARE”. They receive affirmation and value for existing as “chips off the Divine ‘Block’ “, if-you-will (my allegory).

John Paul II then refers to Genesis and the creation of man and woman in original solitude as ‘human beings in an equal degree,’ both entrusted with the task of dominion over other creatures in the visible world. ‘The woman,’ he says, ‘is another “I” in a common humanity’ (MD, no. 6). The original solitude is overcome when the man finds a ‘helper fit for him/John Paul II characterizes this help as not just joint activity in subduing the earth but as a life-long union in one flesh through which life is transmitted to new genera­tions. Reflecting on what both Genesis accounts say about man as made in the image of God, the Pope describes as essential to man as person not only his rational and free nature but his existence “in relation to another human person,’ which he calls a ‘prelude to the definitive self-revelation of the Triune God’ (MD, no. 7).

In recalling Jesus’ encounters with women in the Gospel and his admonition that the man who looks on a woman lustfully has committed adultery with her in his heart, John Paul II affirms both the dignity and subjectivity of women. The woman caught in adultery is told to ’sin no more.’ She is ‘a subject responsible for herself, and at the same time … [her dignity] is “given as a task” to man.’ Man must continually look inside himself to see if she who was given to him as a ’sister in humanity’ and a spouse has not become an ‘object’ for him of pleasure or exploitation. The fact that women were the first eye witnesses of Christ’s resurrection confirms their equality in the kingdom (MD, nos. 14-16).

The concept of original solitude as the basis for the commun­ion of persons is evident in John Paul II’s novel application of the fourth commandment, ‘Honor your father and mother.’ It refers not only to the duty of children to honor their parents, but it is also equally the duty of parents to honor their sons and daughters. Since ‘to honor means to acknowledge,’ all persons in family must be acknowledged. Such mutual honoring is at the basis of the inner unity of the family. It also brings certain advantages to the family. The first of these, John Paul II cites as the ‘good of being together.’ It is the preeminent good both of marriage and the family community. John Paul II defines it as the good of the subject as such. This applies to each person but also to the family as a ’single communal subject.’ The family is more of a subject than any other institution in society. Ultimately, all human rights depend on the honoring of each particular individual which begins in the family. John Paul II goes so far as to say that the life of nations ‘passes’ by way of the family on the basis of the Fourth Commandment (LF, 15).

Fatherhood and motherhood also ‘presume the coexistence and interaction of autonomous subjects.’ There is a continual exchange of humanity within the family. While the parents strive to bring the children to a humanity that is increasingly mature, they in turn receive humanity from them. The parents’ We becomes the We of the family community. The family that is formed by the covenant of marriage has a social subjectivity that other unions cannot have and it needs to be recognized by society. While the rights of the family itself are linked to the rights of each person in the family correctly applied, the family is more than the sum total of its members and has rights accordingly. Its sovereignty as a society needs to be recognized for the good of society as a whole (LF, 16-17). 

The ‘Letter to Families’ begins with an emphasis on the transcendent, ‘prayer by the family, prayer for the family and prayer with the family.’ Prayer is related to the subjectivity of man because it is through prayer that man discovers in a more profound way what it means to be a human I, a person. The family also discovers its own subjectivity. Through prayer the family is constituted as a domestic church and prayer is part of the witness of the family in living out their human and Christian vocation. It makes present the Bridegroom who ‘loved us to the end’ (cf. Jn 13:1). John Paul II urges families to be ‘convinced that this love is the greatest of all … [and] is really capable of triumphing over everything that is not love’ (LF, 3-5).

Nowhere can be seen more clearly the authentic meaning of original solitude, especially in marriage, than in the contrast he draws in ‘Letter to Families’ between individualism and personalism. On the surface they might seem to be identical, since both affirm the autonomous subject, but there is a radical antithesis between them. John Paul II defines individualism as presupposing a use of freedom in which man himself determines the truth of what is pleasing and useful. It is egocentric and selfish because it does not recognize legitimate demands on him in the name of an objective truth. ‘He does not want to become a “sincere gift”‘ (LF, 14). Personalism, as John Paul II has defined it in his writings, moves man to become a gift for others. An individualism that espouses the ethic of ‘free love,’ which gives unchecked rein to the passions, is destructive of the family. It is a utilitarian philosophy and can never bring about the ‘civilization of love’ (LF, 14). 

Communion of Persons

When the spouses promise to be faithful to each other, they are making a conscious and free choice. Only persons are capable of making such a choice, and the choice can only be understood on the basis of the ‘full truth about the person who is a rational and free being.’ To this philosophic understanding of the person John Paul II adds the theological, citing Gaudium et Spes, no. 24, on the similarity with the divine likeness possessed by each individual and the similarity to the union of divine persons in the Trinity. Man has an innate need to live in truth and love, and this opens him both to God and others. It opens him especially to live in the communion of marriage and the family. The conjugal union and the family, which originates from it as a communion of persons, derive from the Trinitarian mystery. Living in relation ‘conforms to the innermost being of man and woman, to their innate and authentic dignity as persons’ (LF, 8).

In marriage man and woman become ‘one flesh.’ As human subjects with a different physical configuration (two original solitudes), the man and the woman are equally capable of living ‘in truth and love.’ This capacity is manifested in both a spiritual and a bodily dimension. It is through the body that the communion of persons in marriage is brought about. Their union in the flesh ought to conform to ‘truth and love.’ It should open them up to receiving a new life, another person made in the image of God who has called the parents to be co-creators with him. Because man is made in the image of God, ‘the genealogy of the person is inscribed in the very biology of generation.’ God is present in human motherhood and fatherhood in a way unique to the human species. He wills every individual for his own sake (Gaudium et Spes, no. 24). From the moment of conception the new human being is destined to express himself as a person, but, even beyond this life, he is called to an eternal destiny. The person ‘exists both for his own sake and reaches fulfillment precisely by sharing in God’s life’ (LF, 8-9).

In Mulieris Dignitatem, John Paul II says that as a ‘unity of the two’ men and women are called to live in a communion of love and to mirror the love of the Trinity in the world. This Trinitarian likeness is both inscribed in man’s being and given to him as a task. It is expressed in its fullness in the ‘ethos’ of the New Testament—the commandment to love. Man and woman from the beginning are called not just to exist beside each other but to ‘ exist mutually “one for the other.”‘ Woman is first of all created as a ‘helper’ for man as a person. On this most fundamental level man and woman mutually help each other as persons because to be a person means to be in interpersonal communion. Within this context of interpersonal communion the integration of what is masculine with what is feminine takes place. And it takes place through self-gift. Here John Paul II quotes Gaudium et Spes, no. 24, one of the two key passages from Vatican Council II for his theological anthropology. For only through becoming a sincere gift to another can a man or a woman attain self-realization. This truth, he says, is ‘the indispensable point of departure’ for any discussion of the vocation of women. The spousal character of the relationship between persons is already outlined in the Genesis texts and forms the basis for future development of woman’s role as virgin or mother (MD, no. 7).²⁸

 Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement: … Love of My Life

When it comes to our painful reality, “When Good People Have Affairs,” reconciliation should be the only option.  To opt for a divorce and remarriage only adds to the violations and pain of all the victims.  It also invalidates the need for sorrow, forgiveness, change, responsibility and love towards each other and our children.

If truth be told, unless one was forced to marry, divorce is not necessary.  In cases of extreme physical danger or mental cruelty, a legal separation can ensure the same legal protection as a divorce.  In addition to preserving the bond of marriage, a separation comes with many extra bonuses for individuals, families and society.  While offering needed protection for the violated spouse or children, a separation should also offer an incentive to the dysfunctional or adulterous spouse to seek religious or psychological help.  This is already being done within every other type of abuse in our society, except where it counts the most—in Family Courts. 

No religious or secular expert can deny that the only reasons for our society’s family Crisis are the unconstitutional nature of no-fault divorce laws and social trends within media, psychiatry, religion, legislature and society.  If religious and secular experts would reform their laws to be in harmony with God’s laws or basic laws of nature, most of our problems would begin to diminish.  Needless to say, ANY violation within the bond of each family has life-altering damages.  Consequently, after years of being brainwashed into mental and physical adultery, even a legal separation will put everyone at risk and must never be chosen as a good or permanent solution.   

Unfortunately, within our current system, adulterous addictions and relationships cannot end.  When victimized spouses and children receive no protection and adulterous spouses receive no help for their habits and addictions, ALL suffer.  Instead of receiving needed help, adulterous spouses are empowered and made sicker by their adulterous partners and  no-fault laws or experts.  By now, most women and men find it almost normal to seduce married men or women away from their families.  Even though marital infidelity or family betrayal is the 3rd gravest atrocity after murder and physical abuse, most of us will disagree with such truth until we experience it personally.  To enhance our dilemma, too many spouses will no longer feel or object to betrayal and remarriage because they embraced or were forced into these cycles years ago.

Will more books, education and preparation help marriages and families to regain stability?  Yes, but compared to all the other violations, education is currently the least effective solution.  To focus on education of singles but to ignore a legion of existing victims and their need for help or justice is to add insult to injury and enslave our entire society into dysfunction—because No-fault shared custody deprived violated parents of their moral parental authority, it feeds the divorce cycles by creating dysfunctional lifestyles that no amount of education can rectify. 

The solution is obvious–just like the Holy Trinity is all inclusive, so is the indissoluble bond between each man, woman and child.  Oddly, so are the basic roots of our solution—secular & religious education along with reform of No-fault divorce laws and social media trends.   By now, confusion & adultration are so deeply ingrained in our society that education, law & social reforms must be initiated simultaneously.  Needless to say, private individuals do not have enough clout or money to resolve a PUBLIC Crisis—as such, the resolution of our Crisis is where it was from the beginning—in the hands of religious and secular experts or luminaries.  Oddly, most conservative and modern “experts” are so busy fighting each other, CURRENTLY THERE IS NO ONE FIGHTING FOR OUR CHILDREN because parents who do so are overruled by ALL experts—conservative & modern! … While our Crisis is enormous, even ONE PRO or CLERGYMAN can begin REAL CHANGE …  As such, this forum is open to any experts or luminaries wishing to offer moral support and leadership to all the victims—young and old!  Sam Beamer …  “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

Host:  Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement … Love of My Life 

Although Ms. Laura Ingraham or Fr. John Corapi are not in the same class as Fr. Guido Sarducci, they might have to do!

Private and public manipulation or exploitation of our children must end.  As a family and social advocate, I have been contacting local and national leaders for years.  To date, all my appeals appear to be ignored.  Nonetheless, the urgency of our Crisis speaks for itself.  Even though most parents are used to sacrificing, none of our children should have been sacrificed in the first place.  Due to escalation of damages to singles and families, there are only two options:  Reform of No-Fault Media-crity or a Class-Action Lawsuit.

Change by desire is always more powerful than change by force.  In addition to advocating for vital religious reforms, many of my appeals, wishes and prayers have been centered around creation of conservative talk shows on major public airwaves.  None of us will regain justice or empowerment until traditionalists like Ms. Laura Ingraham, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Professor Kreeft, Mr. Bill O’Reilly, Mr. Bill Cosby, Mr. Eduardo Verastegui, Fr. Corapi and a legion of others address or host their own TV shows on No-Fault Divorce and Social Media Reform. 

Unfortunately, even within the recent surge of conservative media, only the public aspect of our Crisis is being disseminated.  Will Ms. Ingraham be the first to enter the “forbidden zone” or shaky ground of No-Fault Divorce and social damages from media’s gag order on truth.  She did it in her book “Power to the People.”  Are we there yet?  Even though Ms. Ingraham is one of the few with an honest traditional view and moxie, so far she only touched the tip of the iceberg … For now, all we can do is pray, hope and watch for the “rest of the story.”  5:00 p.m.–watch FOX and your time zones … Just In with Laura Ingraham! … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

 Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement: … Love of My Life

Who’s Who in America?  “The Celebrity 100 is Forbes’ list of the world’s most powerful—and best-paid—celebrities.”  Oddly, even though conservative print media, radio and TV had a great impact on our society, traditionalists still have a long way to go—until our society’s family Crisis becomes the #1 Priority for our entire society, all of us will continue to suffer.  Further debates or studies are useless—now “experts” need to do the aftermath of No-fault divorce.  With most mothers and fathers in our country having been rendered “powerless,” most of our children haven’t had real protection for years.  To enhance our dilemma, decades of toxic media conditioning haven’t been kind.  By now, when it comes to single and family matters, responsible behaviors are rare & square—by default, instead of being sorrowful, con-fused behaviors are popular and powerful.  Paying such a heavy price for years of enslavement to No-Fault Media-Crity is not only an abomination but it is also unconscionable and unconstitutional …  Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

 Host: Sam Beamer … Samctuary@aol.com … Mission Statement … Love of My Life 

What is America’s Top Social Crisis?  The answer has been painfully visible in our homes and society for over 30 years—it’s our social  enslavement to Unconstitutional No-Fault Divorce Laws and Faulty Media Trends.  To date, as Family Courts exterminate our families from the inside, toxic media trends demolish our families from the outside.  By now, damages of our two-headed monsters have been so brutal on all individuals, families, faiths and society that only a privileged few remain stable and able!

Why is our Crisis America’s Top Secret?  Ever since 1969 No-fault divorce laws opened the gates of hell, Civil and Religious rights for most private individuals became Civil and Religious violations.  To date, when it comes to private relationships or family matters, most of us have the right to remain silent and violated.  With laws designed to favor perpetrators, it has been humanly and legally impossible to fight City Hall, No-Fault Injustice or Social Media Violations—most victims do not have the clout and money needed to receive representation and protection or to buy their rights and justice.  Tragically, after years of cruel, unjust, illogical, irreligious or illegal violations, even most experts are damaged and part of the problem because they trump conservative experts in almost all vital aspects of our lives.  Since almost everyone in America is directly or indirectly damaged by our Crisis, there are relatively few stable single adults and traditional families.  Majority of families in America are at the mercy of merciless and unjust laws, trends, spouses or experts.  Because an average adult can survive almost any atrocity, our Crisis revolves around parents and children.  With No-fault child custody depriving responsible parents of soul and sole custody, most of our children haven’t had REAL protection for years.  To date, most parents can’t be parents—children can’t be children.  

FIX … Divorce and Media Reforms are a MUST!  Yet, when spouses, leaders and laws won’t honor nor protect us, who will?  Because my private appeals to local and national leaders continue to be ignored, it is my hope that this forum will unite, exonerate and empower the victims by sharing the truth with those who are being misinformed.  As we knock on a few doors, some will open their eyes while hearts & minds of others will remain closed despite logical or religious truths—none can deny that the bond between each man, woman and child is as vital and enjoyable as it is natural and indissoluble.  Since singles and the elderly are in as much jeopardy as marriages and children, we can’t wait, write or talk about change—it’s time to seek and find private individuals or pros to ignite REAL change … Grab a cup of “coffee” or a V8, look out for the bumps on the log, clique it and get ready for your right to life and dignity or true love and a family … Sam Beamer … “Let your love of justice be exceeded only by your love of mercy.”  

Family Research Council

THE BENEFITS of MARRIAGE

by Bridget E. Maher

February 18, 2005

“Dear Papa … As much as I have tried, I do not have a template to understand myself or this world, and, at times, the knowledge that I have spent all these years without knowing you overwhelms me. … It is so basic, to want to feel loved. I have not felt that.” Lisa, a 28-year-old child of divorce who had not seen or spoken to her father in nineteen years, wrote these words a few months after attempting to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills. As she lay in her hospital bed, she said, “I felt my father’s absence with a sharpness I hadn’t known before.”[1]

Lisa is a casualty of the decline of the institution of marriage, as indicated by the following statistics:

Low marriage rate: In 2002, the U.S. marriage rate was the lowest it has ever been, with only 43.4 marriages per thousand unmarried women in that year.[2]

Delayed marriage: Men and women are marrying later. In 2003, the median age at first marriage was 26.9 for men, compared to 23.2 in 1970. For women, it was 25.3 in 2002 versus 20.8 in 1970.[3]

Divorce: The divorce rate has almost doubled since 1960. Based on projections of current divorce rates, between 40 and 50 percent of marriages today are likely to end in divorce or separation.[4]

Cohabitation: The number of cohabiting couples has increased dramatically during the past 30 years. In 2002, there were 4.9 million cohabiting couples, compared to just over half a million in 1970.[5]

Out-of-wedlock childbearing: Today, one-third of all births are out of wedlock.[6] The unwed birthrate is highest among women between the ages of 20 and 24.[7]

Lisa’s story reveals the emotional pain that children from broken homes experience. Not having married parents deprives children of the love, security, and attention they need. Marriage provides the optimal environment for rearing children, the future of society. Children raised by their biological married parents receive numerous social, health, and economic benefits, and these gifts benefit the whole of society. Conversely, it is through the breakdown of marriage that children and society are harmed.

Marriage also benefits adults by allowing them to overcome feelings of loneliness and incompleteness by forming a complementary union. Also, it allows them to promise to give each other mutual care, respect, and protection and to raise a family together. But the primary reason marriage is a vital institution is that it serves public purposes, namely, procreation and the benefit of children and society.

Marriage Benefits Children

There is a wealth of evidence that children raised by their biological, married parents have the best chance of becoming happy, healthy, and morally upright citizens in the future.

Complementary Parental Roles: Marriage ensures that children have access to a mother and a father. Mothers and fathers have unique and complementary roles in children’s development. For example, children’s emotional bond with their mothers helps them develop their conscience, capacities for both intimacy and empathy, and a sense of self-worth.[8] One study found that adults who perceived their mothers as available and devoted to them in childhood were less likely to suffer from depression and low self-esteem as adults and more likely to be resilient in dealing with life events.[9]

Involved fathers produce children who have better emotional health, do better academically, and attain higher job status as adults.[10] Also, fathers teach their children empathy as well as assertiveness and independence.[11] But most importantly, fathers are role models for both their sons and daughters. Fathers teach their sons how to be a man, how to take on male responsibilities, and how to relate to women. Girls learn from their fathers that they are loveable; they also learn to appreciate their femininity and how to relate to men.[12]

Less Risky Behavior: Some of the most important benefits children receive from married parents are love and attention. This makes them less likely to engage in behaviors such as premarital sex, substance abuse, delinquency, and suicide. A Swedish study of almost a million children found that children raised by single parents are more than twice as likely as those raised in two-parent homes to suffer from a serious psychiatric disorder, to commit or attempt suicide, or to develop an alcohol addiction.[13] A 2000 study of U.S. data found that adolescents from single-parent families were more likely to have had sexual intercourse than those living with both parents.[14]

Template for Future Marriage: Children with married parents receive a model for their future marriage. Children living in intact homes learn that it is possible to entrust oneself to another person wholly for a lifetime. Also, they learn what marriage looks like. By their example, parents teach children about the sacrifices marriage entails and how husbands and wives should treat each other. Children learn from their parents that marriage is filled with many joys as well as sorrows, but that it’s possible to work through hardships with charity, forgiveness, patience, and perseverance.

While their parents’ relationship with each other is pivotal in children’s confidence and ability to form their own marriage, it doesn’t have to be a perfect marriage. Judith Wallerstein, who studied 131 children of divorce over 25 years, found that children are usually “reasonably content” in an unhappy or failing marriage.[15] Children of divorce have a shattered template for marriage, causing them to distrust marriage and to avoid it for fear of divorce. Studies have found that these children are twice as likely to cohabit before marriage and to divorce.[16]

Safety Benefits: Compared to children living with single parents, children conceived by married parents are safer; they are less likely to be aborted[17] and less likely to be abused or neglected. A 1998 study found that children in single-parent families are more than twice as likely to be physically abused than children living with both biological parents.[18]

Better Health: Children with married parents have better emotional and physical health than those raised by single parents. A 2000 study from the journal Pediatrics found that children from single-parent homes are twice as likely to have emotional and behavioral problems as are children living with both parents.[19]

Economic Benefits: Children with married parents fare better economically. In the United States, poverty rates among children living with single mothers are five times higher than those of children living with married parents (35.5 percent versus 7 percent).[20] Also, children from intact families are likely to have higher-paying jobs as adults.[21]

Higher Academic Scores: A 2003 study of eleven industrialized countries found that children living in single-parent families have lower math and science scores than children in two-parent families. The correlation between single parenthood and low test scores was strongest among children in the United States and New Zealand.[22] Better Parent-Child Relationships: A study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that children living with their married biological parents spend more time with their fathers and receive more affection and warmth from them than those living with a step- or single father or a cohabiting father figure.[23]

Marriage Benefits Adults

Adults, too, are able to enjoy the health, social, and economic benefits of marriage. Marriage allows men and women to form a union and raise a family, as most adults desire to marry and have children.[24]

Better Health: Married people have better emotional and physical health than unmarried people. A 2004 report from the National Center for Health Statistics found that married people are happier and healthier than widowed, divorced, separated, cohabiting or never-married people, regardless of race, age, sex, education, nationality, or income.[25] Compared to people of other marital statuses, the study found that married people have the least limitations in normal daily activities, including work, getting dressed, remembering, and walking. They also experience the lowest amount of serious psychological distress, and drink and smoke less.[26]

Similarly, a 2000 study found that married persons have the lowest incidences of diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.[27]

Longer Life Span, Less Suicide: Married people live longer and are less likely to commit suicide than those who are not married. [28] A 2000 study found that divorced and separated men and women are more than twice as likely as married persons to commit suicide.[29]

Greater Wealth, Higher Incomes: Married people enjoy greater wealth than unmarried people–and the longer they stay married, the more their wealth accumulates.[30] Marriage particularly benefits men’s earning capacities. One study found that married men earn about 22 percent more than men who have never cohabited and never married.[31] Another study confirmed that marriage itself is what leads to men’s higher incomes; the possibility that men with higher earning potential are more likely to marry has little impact on the “marriage premium.”[32]

Safety Benefits: Marriage is the safest relationship for women. A 2002 study found that cohabiting couples reported rates of physical aggression in their relationships three times higher than those reported by married couples.[33] A Department of Justice report found that married and widowed women had the lowest rates of violent abuse by a spouse, while divorced and separated women had the highest rates of violence by their spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend.[34]

Marriage Benefits Society

The social, health, and economic gifts of marriage lead to stronger communities and society.

Less Abortion: Marriage protects human life, as married women are less likely to abort their children than unmarried women. With fewer abortions, human life is more likely to be respected at all stages–from tiny, defenseless embryos to frail, disabled elderly persons.

Safer Homes: Marriage helps make homes safer places to live, because it curbs social problems such as domestic violence and child abuse.

Safer Communities: Communities with more married-parent families will be safer and better places to live because they are less likely to by plagued by substance abuse and crimes committed by young people.

Less Premarital Sex: Marriage also helps to prevent premarital sex, out-of-wedlock births, and sexually transmitted diseases, because young people raised by married parents are less likely to have sex before marriage.

Less Poverty, More Wealth: The economic benefits of marriage for society include less poverty and welfare dependence, because married-parent families are less likely to live in poverty than single-parent families. With fewer people on welfare, governments would have a broader tax base. Along with reducing poverty and welfare dependence, marriage generates more revenue in the economy since married people have higher incomes and greater wealth.

Healthier Society: The main health benefit of marriage is a healthier society. This is because married people have better health than unmarried people and children with married parents are healthier than those with single, cohabiting, or step parents. If people are healthier, health care costs will be lower.

More Marriage, Less Divorce: Married-parent homes are more likely to produce young adults who view marriage positively and maintain lifelong marriages. Divorce, on the other hand, is likely to breed more divorce and often leads young people to have negative attitudes toward marriage and to cohabit before marriage.[35]

Less Government, Lower Taxes: With more strong marriages, fewer programs such as child support enforcement, foster care, and welfare would be needed to alleviate the effects of broken homes, lessening taxpayers’ burdens. According to a recent study, divorce costs the United States $33.3 billion per year.[36] Teen childbearing costs U.S. taxpayers about $7 billion annually for increased welfare, incarceration, and foster care costs as well as lost tax revenue due to government dependency.[37]

More Engaged Citizens: Married people are more likely than unmarried people to vote, volunteer in social service projects, and get involved in their churches and schools.[38]

Strengthening Marriage

The institution of marriage can be strengthened in a variety of ways, including enacting laws to implement pro-family tax reform, no-fault divorce reform, welfare reform, abstinence-until-marriage programs, and premarital education. Community initiatives such as Marriage Savers have also been effective in strengthening marriage and reducing divorce.

Tax Reform: Our tax system should encourage marriage, childbearing, and adoption. The marriage penalty, under which married couples pay higher taxes than single people or cohabiting couples, should be eliminated. Legislation passed by Congress in 2001 that provided for a gradual phase-out of this penalty will expire in 2011; it should be made permanent. This same tax bill, combined with later revisions, also provided for a phased-in doubling of the per-child tax credit, from $500 to $1,000, and a doubling of the adoption tax credit, from $5,000 to $10,000. These reforms also need to be made permanent.

Divorce Reform: It should become more difficult to obtain a divorce. The unrestricted access to no-fault divorce has contributed to our high divorce rate. Today, nearly all states have no-fault divorce laws, which allow a spouse to file for or obtain a divorce for any reason without obtaining the consent of the other spouse, thus making the divorce process unilateral and rendering powerless the spouse who wants to preserve the marriage. Several states have tried to restrict divorce by proposing legislation or passing laws which require mutual consent, longer waiting periods, or classes for divorcing parents before a divorce can be obtained. In addition, three states have passed covenant marriage laws, which give couples a choice between a standard marriage license, which allows no-fault divorce for any reason, and a covenant marriage license, which requires premarital counseling and longer waiting periods or proof of fault before divorce.[39]

The Louisiana Model: Louisiana’s Covenant Marriage Act went into effect in 1997. The bill was authored by then-state representative and current FRC President Tony Perkins. Similar covenant marriage laws have been instituted in Arkansas and Arizona, and legislation has been introduced in Indiana, Iowa, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Utah, Virginia, and West Virginia.

Louisiana’s covenant marriage law requires premarital counseling and places restrictions on no-fault divorce. The counseling covers the seriousness of cove-nant marriage, reinforces the notion that marriage is a lifelong commitment, and requires the couple to commit to seek marital counseling for problems that arise.

Under Louisiana law, divorce or separation may be obtained in a covenant marriage only after a couple that has not obtained a legal separation has lived apart for two years. Couples without children who have obtained a legal separation must wait one year before divorcing; separated couples with children are required to wait 18 months.

Grounds for divorce or separation include proof of adultery, conviction of a felony with a sentencing to death or imprisonment at hard labor, abandonment by either spouse for one year, physical or sexual abuse of a spouse or child of one of the spouses, or (for purposes of legal separation only) cruel treatment or habitual intemperance.[40]

More work needs to be done to encourage young couples to choose covenant marriage. A preliminary study found that covenant marriages comprise only about two percent of new marriages in Louisiana.[41] It has been reported that parish clerks of court are discouraging couples from choosing covenant marriage.[42]

Many couples may also be unaware of the covenant marriage option. According to one study, 40 to 50 percent of spouses who chose the standard marriage option had never heard of covenant marriage, and only 16 percent had discussed the option.[43] Those couples who chose covenant marriage have lower divorce rates in the first five years of marriage due to more premarital counseling, lower rates of premarital cohabitation, and wives’ strong religious beliefs.”[44]

Welfare Reform: The breakdown of marriage is a root cause of poverty, as most welfare recipients are never-married or divorced mothers. When the federal government sought to reform the welfare system in 1996, three of its stated goals were to strengthen marriage, reduce out-of-wedlock childbearing, and encourage the formation of two-parent families. Some states, such as Oklahoma, Utah, Arizona, Michigan, and Virginia, have used welfare money for pro-marriage efforts. However, other states have not acted decisively to promote marriage. In 2000, less than one percent of combined state and federal welfare costs were spent on these goals.[45] To remedy this, President Bush has proposed earmarking $300 million in welfare money for pro-marriage programs such as premarital education classes and marriage mentoring. State and local governments as well as private organizations can apply for the money to develop marriage programs.

Abstinence-Until-Marriage Education: The United States government should adequately fund abstinence-until-marriage programs, because abstinence is the only 100-percent-effective way to prevent out-of-wedlock pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease.

There are more than 1,000 abstinence-until-marriage programs, which are very effective in teaching young people how to save sex for marriage. They teach young people the benefits of saving sex for marriage, how to have healthy relationships, and how to set goals and make good decisions. Abstinence is presented not merely as a solution to the problems of unwed pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases but also as a “pathway leading to respect for one’s self and others, to healthier relationships, and, eventually, to love and happiness in marriage,” in the words of Heritage Foundation experts.[46]

The federal government has provided some abstinence-until-marriage funding in recent years, but comprehensive sex education and contraception programs, which assume that young people will engage in premarital sex and which promote contraception, receive vastly more funding in comparison. In 2002, abstinence-until-marriage programs received $144.1 million in government funding, while comprehensive sex-ed programs received $1.73 billion. In other words government spent $12 to promote contraception for every dollar spent on abstinence education.[47]

Premarital Education: Several states have passed premarital education laws. Florida’s 1998 Marriage Preservation Act was the first requiring high school students to receive marriage skills education. Additionally, the law gives a discount to couples applying for a marriage license who attend a minimum of four hours of marriage preparation, allowing them to waive the three-day waiting period before the marriage can take place. In 1999, Oklahoma passed similar legislation–reducing the marriage license fee for those who receive premarital education–followed by Maryland and Minnesota in 2001 and Tennessee in 2002. Several other states have proposed similar bills.

Premarital education is also promoted by such organizations as Marriage Savers, which has implemented community marriage policies in 183 cities in 40 states. Community marriage policies are signed by clergy and judges who agree to require engaged couples to undergo at least four months of marriage preparation.

Married couples trained as mentors administer the marriage preparation, which includes a premarital inventory test to identify a couple’s strengths and weaknesses. They continue meeting with couples after the wedding and also help couples in troubled marriages. A recent study found that community marriage policies are very effective in reducing divorce rates.[48]

Restoring a Culture of Strong Marriages

Marriage confers many social and economic benefits on children, adults, and society, but it has been severely weakened by feminism, the sexual revolution, and the population-control campaign. The breakdown of marriage over the past four decades has resulted in low rates of marriage, high rates of divorce, out-of-wedlock childbearing, and cohabitation.

America needs to restore a culture in which monogamous, lifelong marriages are the norm and marriage between and a man and a woman is treasured as the safest and best haven for children. Then we will have fewer children like Lisa crying out for their father’s love. Fortunately, Lisa and her father are slowly trying to patch up their relationship. Lisa’s father called her on her birthday–for the first time in nineteen years, and she was elated. Their restored relationship is indeed a blessing, but think how much she would have been spared if her parents hadn’t divorced. That’s why need to protect marriage. Pro-marriage policies–as well as community and church marriage-strengthening efforts–will help ensure that all children are nurtured and loved by two married parents.
END NOTES

1. Lisa Singh, “The Father Land,” The Washington Post Magazine, June 6, 2004, W17.

2. The National Marriage Project, “The State of Our Unions 2004: The Social Health of Marriage in America,” June 2004, Figure 1.

3. Jason Fields, “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2003,” Current Population Reports, U.S. Census Bureau (November 2004), Figure 5.

4. Bridget Maher, ed., The Family Portrait: A Compilation of Data, Research and Public Opinion on the Family, Family Research Council, 2004, 102.

5. U.S. Census Bureau, “Unmarried-Couple Households, by Presence of Children: 1960 to Present,” Table UC-1, June 12, 2003.

6. Joyce A. Martin, et al., Births: Final Data for 2002, National Vital Statistics Reports 52, December 17, 2003, 10.

7. Ibid, Table 18.

8. Brenda Hunter, Ph.D., The Power of Mother Love (Waterbrook Press: Colorado Springs, 1997) 104.

9. Mohammadreza Hojat, “Satisfaction with Early Relationships with Parents and Psychosocial Attributes in Adulthood: Which Parent Contributes More?” The Journal of Genetic Psychology 159 (1998): 203-220, as cited in The Family in America New Research, The Howard Center (October 1998).

10. Jay Teachman, et al., “Sibling Resemblance in Behavioral Cognitive Outcomes: The Role of Father Presence,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60 (November 1998): 835-848. Also, Timothy J. Biblarz and Greg Gottainer, “Family Structure and Children’s Success: A Comparison of Widowed and Divorced Single-Mother Families,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 62 (May 2000:) 533-548.

11. David Popenoe, Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society (Cambridge:Harvard University Press, 1996) 143-149.

12. Popenoe, 142-143.

13. Gunilla Ringback Weitoft, et al., “Mortality, Severe Morbidity and Injury in Children Living with Single Parents in Sweden:A Population-based Study,” The Lancet 361 (January 25, 2003):289-295.

14. John S. Santelli, et al., “The Association of Sexual Behaviors with Socioeconomic Status, Family Structure, and Race/Ethnicity Among U.S. Adolescents,” American Journal of Public Health 90 (October 2000): 1582-1588

15. Judith Wallerstein, et al., The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study, (New York: Hyperion, 2000) 31-35.

16. Jay D. Teachman, “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages,” Journal of Family Issues 25 (January 2004): 86-111. Also, Paul R. Amato and Danelle D. DeBoer, “The Transmission of Marital Instability across Generations:Relationship Skills or Commitment to Marriage?” Journal of Marriage and Family 63 (November 2001): 1038-1051.

17. The Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Induced Abortion,” Facts in Brief, 2003.

18. Joceylyn Brown, et al., “A Longitudinal Analysis of Risk Factors for Child Maltreatment: Findings of a 17-Year Prospective Study of Officially Recorded and Self-Reported Child Abuse and Neglect,” Child Abuse and Neglect 22 (1998): 1065-1078.

19. Kelly J. Kelleher, et al., “Increasing Identification of Psychosocial Problems:1979-1996,” Pediatrics 105 (June 2000): 1313-1321.

20. U.S. Census Bureau, “Historical Poverty Tables,” Table 4, available at www.census.gov/hhes/poverty/histpov4.html.

21. Timothy J. Biblarz and Greg Gottainer, “Family Structure and Children’s Success: A Comparison of Widowed and Divorced Single-Mother Families.”

22. Suet-Ling Pong, et al., “Family Policies and Children’s School Achievement in Single- Versus Two-Parent Families,” Journal of Marriage and Family 65 (August 2003) 681-699.

23. Sandra L. Hofferth and Kermyt G. Anderson, “Are All Dads Equal? Biology versus Marriage as a Basis for Paternal Investment,” Journal of Marriage and Family 65 (February 2003): 213-232.

24. Money and the American Family Survey, American Association of Retired Persons, January 23-February 21, 2000 and Gallup Poll, July 18-20, 2003.

25. Charlotte A. Schoenborn, “Marital Status and Health: United States, 1999-2002,” Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (Number 351, December 15, 2004).

26. Schoenborn, ibid.

27. Amy Mehraban Pienta, “Health Consequences of Marriage for the Retirement Years,” Journal of Family Issues 21 (July 2000):559-586.

28. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially (New York:Doubleday, 2000) 50-52.

29. Augustine J. Kposowa, “Marital Status and Suicide in the National Longitudinal Mortality Study,” Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 54 (April 2000): 254-261.

30. Waite and Gallagher, 97-123.

31. Leslie S. Stratton, “Examining the Wage Differential for Married and Cohabiting Men,” Economic Inquiry 40 (April 2002):199-212.

32. Donna K. Ginther and Madeline Zavodny, “Is the Male Marriage Premium Due to Selection? The Effect of Shotgun Weddings on the Return to Marriage,” Journal of Population Economics 14 (2001): 313-328.v

33. Sonia Miner Salari and Bret M. Baldwin, “Verbal, Physical and Injurious Aggression among Intimate Couples Over Time,” Journal of Family Issues 23 (May 2002): 523-550.

34. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Partner Violence, National Crime Victimization Survey, U.S. Department of Justice, May 2000, 4-5, 11.

35. Paul R. Amato and Danelle D. DeBoer, “The Transmission of Marital Instability across Generations: Relationship Skills or Commitment to Marriage?” Journal of Marriage and Family 63 (November 2001): 1038-1051; Also, Carole Mulder and Marjorie Lindner Gunnnoe, “College Students’ Attitudes toward Divorce Based on Gender, Parental Divorce, and Parental Relationships,” Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 31 (1999): 179-188; Also, Teachman, “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of their Marriages.”

36. David G. Schramm, “What Could Divorce Be Costing Your State? The Costly Consequences of Divorce in Utah: The Impact on Couples, Communities, and Government,” A Preliminary Report, June 25, 2003, Publication in Process, Department of Family, Consumer, and Human Development, Utah State University.

37. Rebecca Maynard, ed. Kids Having Kids: A Robin Hood Foundation Special Report on the Costs of Adolescent Childbearing, The Robin Hood Foundation, New York, (1996) 19.

38. Corey L.M. Keyes, “Social Civility in the United States,” Sociological Inquiry 72 (2002): 393-408, as cited in The Family in America New Research, November 2002. Also, Carl L. Bankston III and Min Zhou, “Social Capital as Process: The Meaning and Problems of a Theoretical Metaphor,” Sociological Inquiry 72 (2002): 285-317, as cited in The Family in America New Research, December 2002.

39. Bridget Maher, “Deterring Divorce,” Family Research Council, 2004.

40. 1997 Louisiana Public Act 1380.

41. Laura Sanchez and Steven Nock, et al., “Social and Demographic Factors Associated with Couples Choice between Covenant and Standard Marriage in Louisiana,” available at http://www.bgsu.edu/organizations/cfdr/research/pdf/2002/2002_6.pdf

42. See Laura A. Sanchez, Steven L. Nock, and James D. Wright, “The Implementation of Covenant Marriage in Louisiana,” Virginia Journal of Social Policy and the Law 9 (December, 2000): 192-223.

43. Sanchez and Nock, et al, “Social and Demographic Factors Associated with Couples Choice between Covenant and Standard Marriage in Louisiana.”

44. Laura A. Sanchez, Steven L. Nock, et al, “Can Covenant Marriage Foster Marital Stability among Lower Income, Fragile Newlyweds?” Paper read at the National Conference on Marriage and Family Formation among Low Income Couples (Georgetown University; Washington DC, September 4-5, 2003).

45. 2001 TANF Annual Report to Congress, April 2002.

46. Shannon Martin, Robert Rector and Melissa G. Pardue, “Comprehensive Sex Education vs. Authentic Abstinence: A Study of Competing Curricula,” The Heritage Foundation, 2004.

47. Melissa G. Pardue, Robert E. Rector and Shannan Martin, “Government Spends $12 on Safe Sex and Contraceptives for Every $1 Spent on Abstinence,” The Heritage Foundation, Backgrounder No. 1718, January 14, 2004.

48. Paul James Birch and Stan Weed, et al., “Assessing the Impact of Community Marriage Policies on the U.S. County Divorce Rates,” Executive Summary, The Institute for Research and Evaluation, Salt Lake City, Utah, April 5, 2004.